I never knew just what it was about this old coffee I love so much

Okay so here is what has been happening in my world lately.

Ro is not over me, its completely obvious. We had this twitter battle or whatever after he tried to kiss me. Like I just don't get it he doesn't show interest for two months then Kyle walks into my life and BAM Ro wants me again. I seriously can't take this anymore. I mean don't get me wrong I love Ro but things between us never work out, ever. 

So I talked to a friend about it, an outside party, someone who doesn't know anyone in my life. It felt great to just vent and this person gave me the best advice "Go with your gut feeling, what does your instinct tell you?"

Well my gut and I had a conversation. It wasn't that long because I think I knew all along what it was saying. See if I really wanted to be with Ro I would of let him kiss me right? Right. The fact that I didn't means that I don't really want to be with RO. Atleast not right now. What ever it is that Kyle is doing I am absolutely loving it. I mean I am crushing on him hardcore. We talk a whole bunch, we meet up at the coffee shop as often as we can and well it's been fun getting to know someone. We have only kissed and held hands and I really like that. There is no pressure to do anything than just enjoy each others company.

See with Ro I feel like I have to be as cool as he is and sometimes that gets overwhelming. Like when its just Ro and I hanging out its perfect. When there are other people involved its like I can't be myself. I feel like I kind of embarrass him or he ends up getting jealous. Sometimes he even disappears for a bit when we hang out. I just don't know if I can trust him with my heart right now. So I choose Kyle and when I told RO this he freaked out on me. I know I crushed his feelings a bit but seriously we have been doing this dance since we were ten years old. I think we need a break, we need to date other people and I think or atleast I hope this will save our friendship. I haven't hung out with Ro in a few days and to be honest I kind of miss him. I mean how do you go from seeing someone every single day to not seeing them at all. I just hope we can make it through this little rough patch because well I don't want to lose my best friend.

Alright guys I have to go do my homework I haven't done any of it at all this weekend.. Laters -_-

Pillow Talk

Lately things have been weird between RO and I. Somethings happened earlier this week that I just don't know how to take. See all this week I have been going to school, going to detention like I am supposed to and because of the weather Ro has picked me up everyday. Well except today because Mom picked me up to take me to get a new dress for the dance next weekend.

Okay so I had this weird dream about two days ago, well more like creepy nightmare-ish dream. I have had this dream before from time to time as a child but it hasn't happened in a long while. So The dream is of me sleeping in my old room and it's a younger me. I would say I am about 7 years old in the dream, which is around the time I first had the dream. So there I am sleeping in my bed and its sort of like I am having an out of body experience. Like I can see myself sleeping from a distance but at the same time I am feeling everything that is happening. Like I can feel the sheets on my body keeping me warm and the wind coming off of my ceiling fan across my face. All of a sudden I see this dark figure outside of my window. It looks in and some how opens the window. It starts to slink itself into my room and while this is going on I feel myself tense. Now I am trying to scream wake up, trying to move around the room but  I can't talk or move. All I can do is watch this creepy black figure just float into the room. It stops just over my bed, hovering, watching and waiting. It stays there for a little while and then it starts to reach out towards younger me sleeping. I can see my breathing getting heavier and more erratic like I am having a nightmare. Then the figure starts to drop lower on top of my body and I try really hard to move, to scream , to do anything but I can't. I can only sit there and watch what happens. The figure just stays on top of me, I have no clue what it is doing but I can feel it touching me all over, breathing on me or at least I think it's breathing on me. All of a sudden it stops and pulls away from my body. It hovers for a little and then starts to leave my room through my bedroom door. Before I go to follow it I look back at my younger self and see tears welled in my eyes. I start to go out of the room after the figure and realize that I can finally move. I try to go back to my younger self but there is something pulling me outside of the room. So I go in the only direction I am allowed. I see the figure peek into my brothers room and then keeps on down the hallway to my parents room. I try to catch up a bit but stop to look into my brothers room to see what the figure was looking at. My brother is quietly sleeping away in his crib and I hear the door to my parents room shut. I start to race down the hall to get to the door but I can't open my parents room. Then I hear my brother start to cry and when I look back my younger self is in the hallway running to my brother. I go back to my brothers room and see my younger self climb into the crib with my brother and he instantly stops crying. I look back out into the hall and see the door open I start to freak and then WHAM I am waking up to my alarm clock. It was the craziest dream and to top it off I had tears in my eyes when I woke up. I have no clue what it means what-so-ever but I did talk to RO about it.

When I talked to him about it he freaked out on me. Saying that I must of went through something traumatic when I was younger and that I was hiding it. That I need to face my demons because they could eat you alive. The thing is I don't ever remember anything bad happening to me at the age of 7. I mean bad stuff didn't happen to me until I was 10 when one of my good friends died. Ro and I were pretty torn up about Ronnie for a while, he was one of our best buds. I still see his sister around sometimes and Ronnie's parents. RO and I actually go to Ronnie's grave every year on his birthday to sit and chat like old times.

The thing that happened with RO happened later on that night when he came over freaking out about his dad. We were talking about things just sitting outside on his car smoking a Cig and he just started talking psycho-babble.
He brought up California again. I just don't see what's so great about California we have never been there and I mean I can't just pick up to go there without knowing where I am going to live. I just don't know what he is thinking about. Here's how the converation went down

Ro: Dude he is just a fecking ass muncher seriously! Sometimes I wonder what the hell my mom sees in him. I mean he doesn't treat her well at all and well you know how he treats me. 
Me: Ro, its all good you only have  a few more years to deal. I mean your lucky your 16 and all. You only have two more years and you can do whartever the hell you wants.
Ro: Yeah well its not all its cracked up to be, you know being the older one and all. 
Me: I know what you mean Ro
Ro: I just wish things were different you know?
Me: Yeah, I understand you're home life sucks dude. 
Ro: No I mean in other ways. My home life is whatever
Me: What do you mean?
Ro: Like we could just go Mace, Just go to Cali and soak up the sun. 
Me: Oh Cali again huh? I smile then take a drag of his Cig
Ro: Come on Mace tell me you haven't thought about leaving this place and living a whole 'nother life? Some place to reinvent yourself completely..
Me: Sure I thought about it plenty Ro but I am only 14 for fecks sake.. What do you want me to do? Just pick my shit up and leave with you? 
Ro: Yeah.. Why not?
Me: Because it's not practical that's why not.
Ro: Who gives a Feck about Practical, I 'm talking about dreams and starting over. A fecking second chance at happiness. 
Me: I understand your not happy here because of family but I'm family too.. 
Ro looks at me and studies my face for something. He takes a drag and inhales deeply. He looks up to the sky holding in the smoke and looks away to blow it slowly. God he looks so good in his dark jeans and black t-shirt with his gray hoodie and black leather jacket over. His lips look extremely good tonight and the look in his eyes says he needs some saving. Lord knows I want to save Ro the most out of anyone in this world but I know I can't deep down inside. I know the only person that can save him is himself, not me or California, only Ro.
Ro: What are you thinking Mace?
Me: How your hogging that Cig! I crack a smile, he smiles back and it reaches his eyes. God I love that smile.
Ro: Lets finish this and get inside, its fecking freezing and my balls are not happy about it. 
Me: What balls? We start to laugh together.

Shit is so confusing. He wants me to go away with him to sunny California and trust me I want to go with him. It's just that I want to see what life holds for me here and part of me is so fecking scared. I can handle day trips to Delaware or new york city but living a life in California freaks me out.  I mean yeah sure Ro and I are best friends but sometimes he can be so mean. Sometimes he just turns into this whole other person and I don't know if I could handle being in Cali by myself when he acts like that. What if we live together and one day he freaks out on me and kicks me out. What am I to do then? Where am I to go ? Not to mention my parents would be livid if they knew I ran away to be with Ro in Cali. For now I think I am going to stay here where its safe and try this thing out with Kyle.

Kyle and I have been getting along pretty well. He came over last night, Peter dropped him off on his way to Meghan's and we hung out until Peter picked him up. It was a wonderful time. We just sat in my room talked about family, our likes and dislikes. We danced around to some Vampire Weekend which is one of his favorite bands. I almost died when I heard him say that in his little Irish accent. I was deathly jealous when he said he saw them one summer while over in Europe visiting family. He actually wants me to go with him this summer over there but I have to get a passport and ask my parents. We made out some which Kyle is a phenomenal kisser. I could just kiss that boy all day. Not to mention he gives me the craziest butterflies I have ever gotten in my life. I had a great time with him but the thing with Ro kept bothering me. So I have to talk to Ro soon to get this shit out in the open, you know my fears and my frustrations.

Everythings gonna be alright

So I am in a heap of trouble guys but seriously that won’t stop me at all. See Friday went down as planned for the most part but somehow it took a turn for the worse. Let me back up and tell you the whole thing from beginning to end. 

Friday:

Cassie called Denise to meet up at the park, they talked for a little and then Cassie texted me to come to the park. Ro, Kyle, Peter and I arrived at the park about fifteen minutes later; as soon as we go there you could tell Denise was not happy. Of course since she thought Cassie was still on her side she thought she was going to be all big and bad by giving me some attitude. When I walked over to where they were and gave Cassie a hug, Denise totally deflated. I asked her if we could talk and she gave me that attitude I know she is known for but really it didn’t faze me. Inside I knew she was shitting bricks and mentally scorning herself for even coming to hang out with traitor Cassie. She gave in and told me to just say what I needed to say so she could leave. 

Me: Denise I know it was you who started the rumor about me getting knocked up with apparently Ro’s baby. What I don’t know is why you would start such a hateful rumor?

Denise: I didn’t start anything, Please I have way better things to do than just sit around trying to make up rumors about you.

Me: Well I have three people at school saying they heard it straight from your mouth at the Burger Joint. Seriously it’s okay I don’t even want to know why you came up with that lie anymore. I am so over you Denise it isn’t even funny. I should of listened to all those people warning me about you and how jealous you are.

Denise: Jealous? Please you think I am jealous of you? Seriously look at me and look at you that should be answer enough on the jealous part. I mean you are flat cheasted and I mean look at how deathly skinny you are. I could seriously break you in half with just saying BOO.

Ro: Um, Denise seriously you are such a bitch. Mace may not have boobs as big as yours but I would take her any day over you. Actually all of us guys here would take her over you. You may think your hot shit but you’re not. Guys only want one thing from you when they talk to you and that is to fuck you and go. They know you’re easy that’s why half of the guys who talk to you do.

Me: RO that’s enough. Listen, Denise I don’t want to be friends with you ever. You are the worst friend in the entire universe and nothing would ever make me want to talk to you. So just so you know the next time you have a freak out don’t call me. You are seriously dead to me Denise and I mean it.

Casssie: Just in case you didn’t get the hint we are no longer friends either. You ditched me to go suck the frosty mans dick so you could get free frosties. Seriously Denise get some more fucking self respect. Oh and my brother hates your guts he never liked you stop obsessing about him.

Denise: Oh wow seriously Cassie the only reason why you are saying this right now is because you think Mace is your friend. You will eventually find out what I found out about her and that is she doesn’t care about anyone but herself.

Me: That is not true Denise and you know that. How many fucking times did I help you get out of a bind? How many fucking times did I come to rescue you when you were too drunk to even know where you were? Tell me Denise! I seriously want to hear this answer because let me tell you every time I did come to get you RO was with me.  So try to lie yourself out of this one.

Denise: Whatever that isn’t even the point here. The point is you would be too chicken shit to even say anything to me alone. You always have to have RO with you whenever you do anything. What are you guys like attached at the hip?

That’s when Meghan showed up to the park to see what we were up to. Plus she had some things she needed to tell Denise as well and I figured she might as well while we had her. All of a sudden Denise freaked out.

Denise: Seriously? This is happening right now? Wow Mace I really see who you’ve really become. Thank god we aren’t friends anymore.

Me: Dude calms the fuck down.

Denise: Don’t tell me to calm down fucking traitor!

Me: Oh real classy Denise. Calling me a traitor is really hurting me for serious.

Meghan: Calm down Denise I am not here to start drama just end it.

Denise: I don’t want to talk to you.

Meghan: Good just listen then. I don’t know where you come off thinking I am trying to be you but I am not. I have never had a problem with you until you started talking about me at school for no reason. So I am here to put an end to all of this drama and just squash it seriously. I don’t want any more problems and I surely don’t want to hear you running your mouth about me. Also stay away from me and peter because well we don’t want anything to do with you. 

As I sat there seeing this all unfold before I could only imagine how Denise was taking it. I mean I get that she said those rumors or whatever but we have been friends since the 3^rd grade. I mean that’s a long time to just one day wake up and not be friends with someone. It was like I was losing a limb but hell I wasn’t going to take her shit anymore. 

Denise: I hate you Mace I seriously can’t fucking stand you anymore bitch. I am glad I started those rumors I bet you had a field day trying to do a fucking tap dance to get out of it before your parents found out you are hanging out with Ro still. Whatever I am so done with this whole gang up on Denise thing. 

As she started to walk away I called her name out 

Me: Denise! …

Denise: What the fuck do you want?

Me; I want my shit back so if we could go to your house so I can get it that would be fucking fabulous. 

She walked towards and just spit on my face. That’s when I lost it and just punched her square in the face. We ended up fighting for a little but the guys broke it up. Once it all stopped we realized Denise was bleeding heavily from her nose, and then she started to scream really loud that I broke her nose. A part of me was scared as all hell the other part was screaming “FUX YEAH BITCH! I FUXING BROKE YOUR NOSE YOU FUCKING CUNT!” We then drove her to the hospital and Cassie called her dad to tell him about what happened. We stayed at the hospital until he got there and then left without saying a word to him. 

I really didn’t want to go home so we just went out to Meghan’s cousin’s house to a party. Kyle and I slept in the same bed but nothing really happened. I mean we made out of course but nothing really major. I mean I am still a virgin for now. 

Saturday:

We woke up early, went to the diner and got some breakfast. Then Cassie told us about how her brother was in Delaware with some friends at some beach house. So we decided to go over there to see what was up for the night because we all just really wanted to keep hanging out. I mean I think no one really wanted to go home and face the music. So instead we were rebellious teens and didn’t go home. We went out shopping for some new clothes and went to Cassie’s house to shower up a bit. We then left around noon to Delaware and just listened to music on the way down. It was really a lot of fun just hanging out and well it gave me time to get to know Meghan a little better. She is actually pretty funny and really artsy. She drew this cute lotus flower on my foot on the car ride and I think I might get it as a tattoo.

We got to the beach house and just hung out with Cassie’s brothers friends. Who by the way were very cool and some of them were really hot. Lucky for us Cassie brought swim suits for us girls and the guys borrowed some trunks from the guys. We just spent the day by the beach and that night we made new friends with some locals. We had a huge bon fire and just drank the night away. Ro was being a little weird with me that night and kept bothering me. I think he was just a little buzzed and sometimes when that happens he gets a little flirty. We ended up partying till about 4 in the morning and passing out for a few hours.

Sunday:

I woke up to my phone going off. It was a text from that weird number again saying “Shit’s about to hit the fan. Hope you are ready for this because you will find out who really has your back.” Seriously it was weird but I just put it in the back of my mind when I saw I had 25 missed calls from home and knew I was instantly in a heap of trouble. We left the beach house and rode back home somberly. I think it really settled in that we were all in trouble for not calling our parents to tell them we were okay. None of us checked in or even really had our phones on the whole weekend. I told Kyle I was really sorry for getting him in trouble but he said it was no problem. He would do it all over again if it meant having this weekend all over again with me. This obviously got him another kiss and a huge grin the whole ride back home. Ro dropped me off last and before I went in the house he stopped me. 

Ro: We could just leave you and me you know?

Me: What are you talking about?

Ro: Like we could go to Cali start all over again, just you and I. I mean think about it Mace, no parents, no drama and no hassle. We could come up with new names, new lives and make something of ourselves. Just you and I against the world and kicking ass at it mind you.

I smiled.

Me: Ro that sounds awesome but I have school you know. Now I have Kyle and well frankly now we have a nice group of friends to hang with.

Ro looked solemn. I turned his face to me and smiled.

Me: Maybe someday we could get away from this place and start over. Right now I need to be here and I need to face whatever is coming for me.  

I kissed him on the cheek and told him I loved him. Which I do love him a bunch, I mean I care about him and all.

I got yelled at by my mom and luckily for me my step dad wasn’t around.

Now to get to today! Ugh today was terrible, let me tell you that I don’t think it could get any worse than this. 

Today:

This morning my step dad drove me to school because mom was too mad to even look at me. Which kind of broke my heart a little but eventually she will come around, I mean she is my mom she loves me and all.

On the ride over I sort of had a heart to heart with my step dad. I told him what happened on Friday and how I was scared to come home after that so I just stayed with Cassie. Then he said this to me “You know your mom is really upset with you but I think she is more scared of what could have happened to you. Don’t worry she will come around just give her time.”

Which sincerely touched my heart that he knew I would be worried about that.

I got to school to find that on my locker there was ‘WHORE’ written in red spray paint on my locker. I just kept going about my business because honestly it didn’t bother me much and I wouldn’t be the one in trouble about it. Fourth period I get called down to the principal’s office which wasn’t good at all.  As I was walking down to the office I got another text from that strange number saying “I really like what you did with your locker, classy.”

Seriously it was freaky that this person kept texting me and wouldn’t tell me who it was.

I get to the office to see Denise there with her dad. She looked so busted up because of what I did to her and she was overreacting on top of all that busted-ness. 

Principal: Macy you know why I called you down here. I just want to tell you how disappointed I am in you and that you were the last student I would of ever expected this type of situation to happen to.

Me: Sorry but what is going on here?

Principal: I just became aware of a fight that happened on Friday.

Me; Oh that..

Principal: Yes Macy, that! So We were just discussing what type of punishment you will receive for doing this to this poor girl.

Me: Excuse me?

Principal: What do you mean excuse me?

Me: I mean why am I getting punished about this?

Principal: Well you can’t just go around beating up other students and expect to get away with it.

Me: Well I didn’t really beat her up, we got into a fight, equally mutual.

Principal: I don’t see your nose broken Macy.

Me: Well no, but..

Principal: But nothing! 

As they sat there discussing all the possibilities of what could happen to me now I began to zone out a bit. How the fux could this be happening to me. This bitch fuxing had it coming for a long time by all the shit she pulled on me. That’s when I heard the words Expulsion and Suspension. Oh hells no there is no way I am going to have that on my record! 

Me: Um, does anyone want to hear my side of what happened? Do you want to know why your daughter has a broken nose by someone who used to be best friends with her since the 3^rd grade?

Denise’s dad: Excuse me?

Me: Well you don’t want to know why we even got into the fight or did she over dramatize that too?

Denise: Oh shut up skank!

Me: Classy Denise!

Principal: Girls calm down!

Denise’s Dad: Yes.

Denise: Yes? Denise looked like she was going to shit a brick!

I smiled.

Me: Well Denise started this whole thing by starting a fit over a boy at a party a few weeks back. She blamed it all on me when I had nothing to do with it, so she told me we weren’t friends anymore. Which is fine I was really getting tired of our friendship anyways.

Denise; Stupid Bitch!

Denise Dad: Denise! His look said ‘if you don’t shut the fuck up I will certainly eat you for breakfast and shit you out to eat you all over again!’

He nodded for me to continue. 

Me: So we hadn’t talked for a little because she was out of school. Then I heard rumors about me being pregnant and when I tracked down the source three people said they heard it from Denise. Now that could have been something I could of gotten expelled from school and worse lose a really good friend over because of Denise. Then I heard she was seen at the mall with my boyfriend who told me she told him that I was cheating on him with some other guy. Which all of this is a lie, I am not pregnant and I am certainly not cheating. So I had enough of the lies and backstabbing. I went to the park to talk to Denise not to fight but just to tell her I was done.  That I wanted my stuff back and that she was dead to me.

Principal: Those are some harsh words to say to anyone Macy.

Me: I know that’s why I said them because I wanted Denise to hurt like I did. So that was supposed to be all of it but then Meghan showed up. Meghan and Denise have a history of not liking each other really, so Denise went off calling me a traitor. She turned to walk away but I called her back to tell her I wanted my stuff back. I even offered her a ride home so I could get the stuff and just be done with all of this. She stormed back to me and spit in my face.

Principal: She spit in your face?

Me: Yes, she did. 

Denise tried to shrink back, trying to make herself smaller so people would forget she was even there. 

Me: So I lost it because that is the ultimate disrespect being spit in the face. I punched her square in the face and that is how she got the broken nose. She then proceeded to pull my hair, scratch me and try to punch me but the boys broke up the fight.

I showed my scratches and the little bruise I had on my leg from a kick.

Principal: Boys?

Me: Yes Peter and Kyle were there and another boy who doesn’t go to this school.

Denise’s Dad: So then you guys drove her to the hospital, stayed with her until I got there and left.

Me: Yes, we wanted to make sure someone was with her during her stay at the hospital. 

Denise’s dad turned to Denise and gave her the scariest look a father could give to his daughter. 

In the end I only got a week’s worth of detentions. This is way better than getting expelled or suspended from school. My parents aren’t happy about any of this but hey we live and we learn right? So Now that I have a week’s worth of detention under my belt there is no way I will be able to see Kyle unless he comes over late like Ro does sometimes. And I know I over embellished the story about me being Kyle’s girlfriend but hey we just spent the most amazing weekend together! 

Oh I almost forgot as Denise was leaving the office she called me a Bitch. I just laughed and called her a Cunt. 

As for if I am grounded I totally am but like I said that ain’t going to stop me. Ro is actually coming over tonight to help me study for my English Lit class tomorrow. I have some quiz and since I wasn’t in class for very long I didn’t get the entire lesson. I have to go he is tapping at my window.  Toodles my lovelies :) 

Vices

Seriously Fuxs Denise and her Fuxing ugly self. She just pisses me off to the max. Like how could she do this to me. How could she start these rumors about me at school. Like she wasn't even in all fuxing week and I get into school today to be asked "Hey I over heard that your pregnant with that kid Roman's baby, is it true?" Like what the Fux dude, there is not fuxing way I am prego. Seriously I haven't even had sex yet, I just mess around other ways nothing that major. I mean I am only fuxing 14 years old. Like Peter came up to me at lunch today to talk about it because he is looking out for Kyle. I told him it wasn't true that I am still a virgin, never even had sex, sex yet. I quickly call Kyle after talking to Peter because I told Peter I wanted to tell Kyle about the rumor. Peter actually sat outside with me while I talked to him about the whole thing.

So once I told Kyle he asked me and Peter to meet him after school at the Coffee shop. I agreed and told him that I was going to tell Ro to come too so we can all talk this out. He didn't seem to happy about that but I thought it was necessary since the rumor did involve him. So I made Peter stay with me while I talked to Ro about the whole thing. He decided on picking me up from school and Peter so we can just get to the Coffee shop sooner. Once we got out of school Peter told me to hold his arm while walking out of school. Everyone just stared at us and then when they saw Ro standing by his car it didn't help matters either. I mean he wasn't helping the situation by looking all Joaquin Phoenix in Johnny Cash's movie. He had black pants on, a black tight T shirt with a Black jacket over it and Some black shades. His hair is dark but he wears it like Jame Franco wears his hair usually. He just looked all suave and debonair standing by his car waiting for me and Peter. Everyone was whispering about me and Ro, I could feel all their eyes on me.

The weird thing is that strange number texted me again saying that they warned me about who I trusted. That they knew the rumor was false but school won't believe it once the faculty gets a hold of this it will be the end of me. So then I slightly freaked out because if the faculty hear this rumor then my parents will be contacted for sure. Once they hear Ro's name they will know we hang out still and I will be in deep shit.

Once we got to the Coffee Shop I ordered myself and Kyle Caramel Macchiatto's. Ro drinks tea and Peter just had some water. We sat down by a window in the corner and discussed the whole situation. Peter told everyone what he heard and what people were saying about me. So then I told them how I found out it was Denise. I started getting a whole bunch of people who know me and talk to me sometimes asking the same question "is it true?" I told them it was all lies and asked who they heard from. Eventually you track down enough people it will lead back to the source. Apparently this girl Flo saw Denise yesterday night at the Burger Shack with some girl. They exchanged a couple greetings and then Flo asked why Denise wasn't in school this week. Apparently there have been some family issues going on or whatever. Then Flo asked her about the whole Peter thing, because when you go to parties that people from school go to news is bound to travel there was a scuffle. So Denise apparently decided to tell Flo that we were no longer friends because I was a loose girl. Flo asked her what she meant by that and Denise told Flo that apparently I fux everyone. That Ro and I are in some sort of open relationship. That I have been hiding from everyone and Ro that I was knocked up.

That fuxing Bitch! How the fux dare she say such lies about me. When in reality it's Denise who is the loose girl. She even had a prego scare last month when she fux'd Brian from our English class in the fuxing school bathroom. Of course I didn't tell this Flo. I then asked Flo why would she say anything to anyone in school but apparently Denise said it so loud that Debbie Pitts over heard the conversation and joined in to hear details. Once Debbie fuxing Pitts knows something she blabbers her fuxing big ass lips to everyone she knows. So now I have no clue what to do because I really don't want the faculty to know. I cannot afford to get kicked out of school for this nor can I afford to not see Ro anymore. So I came up with a plan to get a couple of girls from school to watch me pee on a couple of Prego tests to show them I am definitely NOT PREGO! I am sure they will go blabber to everyone that it was all a lie. Then tomorrow after school I am going to get Cassie to call Denise to come some where to meet up. Denise won't know that I am there and I will confront the bitch about all her lies. I already asked Flo and Debbie Pitts to be at the park tomorrow after school. I told Cassie the whole thing and she agreed that Denise needed to go down after that rumor. I asked Brian to be there and well Kyle, Peter and Ro will be there for me too. I also asked Peter to bring Meghan just to rub it in Denise's face.

Oh by the way I figured out why Meghan hated me so much. Apparently Denise had her locker close to Meghan the beginning of the school year. While Denise was at her locker talking to GiGi she said very loudly that I can't stand Meghan. Saying how annoying I am when I complain how Meghan is trying to be me and how I called Meghan a cunt. I have never said any of those things about Meghan ever in my entire life. So when Peter told me this I had him call Meghan instantly. He told her I wanted to talk to her and that everything was cool. I told her I never said anything mean about her, that Denise made everything up and that it was in face Denise who hated Meghan. I also told Meghan that I have never had a problem with her and that I would love to smooth things over a cup of Coffee tomorrow. She agreed to be at the park and agreed to the coffee.

Denis is going the fux down in fuxing flames. When I am done with that piece of trash she will be so sorry she ever double crossed me and tried to make my life a living hell. I swear I will ruin her fuxing life tomorrow after noon with all the shit I am going to let out of the woodwork.

Over it

Ro came to get me after school today and well we have been hanging out ever since. We went walking in our favorite park after getting some hot cocoa and let me tell you it was FREEZING out but still nice. Ro wanted to tell me that Jacob has been asking about me a lot and apparently thought I was really cool. Then Ro told me that he thinks Jacob may have a crush on me and that I need to watch out. He then told me the questions that Jacob was asking him like what's my favorite color, place to eat and what kind of music do I like. I say Jacob is crushing hard on me. In a way its kind of cool that I have a college kid crushing on me but in the same sense it's kind of weird because we only hung out one day. Thankfully Ro had my back and said he didn't really pay attention to stuff like that.

Also Ro told me about how he saw Denise and Kyle all chummy at the mall on Sunday. That I should really watch out for Denise because it looked like she was flirting with him hard core. I was completely pissed because I could see her just laughing way to hard at something that wasn't really funny just to make a good impression when really she looks stupid. I could see her trying to subtly push out her boobs and with body language try to get him to notice that she was pushing them out.  Ugh she is such a bitch I swear. I told Ro what Kyle told me after coffee yesterday and he freaking flipped shit. He was all amp'd up to go over to her house and bitch her out right then. I had to calm him down and say that I wanted to get her really good. Then we started to talk about Kyle a little bit. I could tell Ro was getting a little antsy so I didn't really push the Kyle issue anymore. I did ask him what he thought about him and I got "Don't really know the kid, sorry"
After we just sat there on the swings sipping our hot cocoa for a little bit. Then out of no where Ro called Denise a Cunt. I just laughed because he never uses that word unless he means it about someone. Ro really can't stand Denise and he was glad to know our friendship was over. He told me how he couldn't stand having to drive her around to places or her having to tag along to parties with us. I know he has my back 100% unlike Denise he is a true best friend.

Anyways Ro plans on taking me over to her house tomorrow after school so I can get my stuff back from her. Then I am going to put her in her place and I hope Cassie is around to hear some of the stuff I have to say. Cassie is Denise's little side kick that she uses just because her family has money. Denise can't really stand Cassie but since she has a hot brother and a cool family she hangs out with Cassie every now and then. I believe she said "Cassie is a spoiled twat who is lucky she even has me as a friend because that girl is seriously a buzz kill." I don't want to hurt Cassie but I want Cassie to realize Denise is not a good friend now instead of later. Maybe I can even text Cassie tonight to talk to her about some things. Maybe I will start inviting her out to places, Denise never really wanted us to get to know each other really well. I think she was afraid we would like each other more and leave her out of the loop. Denise is very controlling and manipulative but I am no longer under Denise's thumb. I remember a time when Denise literally ditched Cassie at the mall once to go hook up with the smoothie guy Greg. Who by the way is really gross but Denise wanted a free smoothie so she let him feel her up and she gave him a hand job. Seriously I would of rather paid the money instead of give up my dignity like that for a smoothie. I guess that just shows how much of a skank and not a good friend she is huh?

I have to go Kyle is calling me right now and I really just want to talk to him. He is sort of calming, maybe I'll get him to come over and hang out with me since I don't think I can sleep tonight, too riled up!

Seeing Red

Okay so I am uber pissed at Denise right now.  That skank that called herself my best friend totally just tried to sabbotage my thing with Kyle. Kyle is the first guy since Roman that I have been remotely interested in at all. Okay let me start from the beginning I am just having a big freak out here that's all.
Denise 
She apparently saw Kyle over the weekend. They had coffee and talked about the party. Apparently she apologized to him about the freak out and decided to blurt out all this shit about me. How Roman and I have a past together. That apparently she thinks we still date but don't want others to know about it. That she thinks I am just using Kyle to get Roman jealous or something along those lines. She also tried to make her move on him saying that she thought he was cute. How they should hang out again some time soon. She gave him her number and told him to call her anytime he wants.

Monday :Coffee Shop
Kyle was running a little late so I just ordered us two Caramel Macchiatto's and took up a little table in the corner.  As I sat there waiting for him to come I get a text from Roman saying that he needed to meet up with me later. I also got a text from a strange number saying that I needed to watch who I was friends with. I texted them back asking who it was and they wouldn't say but that I needed to watch who I trusted. I was really creeped out because well who the fuck has my number that I don't know. Anyways at that time Kyle walked in and was a little stand offish. I asked him if everything was okay and that's when he laid the bomb out on me. Our conversation went like this
Me: Hey I got you a Caramel Macchiatto, hope you like it.
Kyle: Thanks, I love Caramel. 
Me: Sweet!
Kyle: So how was the rest of your weekend?
Me: It was fun, went to New York. You?
Kyle: It was fun until yesterday it got a little ..... weird. 
Me: Oh? What happened? 
Kyle: I hung out with Denise. Gives me this look like he knows everything and is pissed off sort of ..
Me: Oh.. how was that?
Kyle: I found out some stuff, glad I know what's up. 
Me: Is there something you need to tell me? What's wrong?
Kyle: Listen, I think your pretty cool and well gorgeous. I just don't like to be played with and Denise told me some things about you and that guy you were with on Friday. 
Me: Oh.. like what things?
Kyle: That you two are sort of a  thing and that you were just using me to get him jealous. 
Me: Oh is that what she said? Hmm.. Funny. I am going to beat that bitch to the fucking ground. How the fuck dare she try to pull something like this on me.
Kyle: So what's  the deal? 
Me: The deal is kyle you are getting played with but not by me. Roman and I are just friends. Yes, we dated a few times in the past but it just doesn't work he and I. Denise told you those things to hurt me because she thinks I hurt her with that whole mess about Peter. I am sorry that you had to go through this and be involved in this situation. 
Kyle: So you two are just friends? He smiles in relief
Me: Yes, just friends, if you don't believe me I can call Ro so you two can talk about it. 
Kyle: No I believe you. I'm sorry I feel so silly. 
Me: Don't feel silly or be sorry. You thought she was looking out for you and since she is or was my friend you thought she was telling you the truth about me. He gives me another smile and sips his coffee some more. We stay quiet for a little and something inside me tells me I should just tell him about my relationship with Ro is pretty close.
Me: I just want you to know that Ro is one of my best friends, has been since we were in diapers. We hang out a lot and some people still get the idea we are dating. I just don't want you to get freaked out by it or anything. Its just that Ro depends on me a lot, he has a really bad home life and I am the constant in his life. 
Kyle: So what does that mean exactly? 
Me: It means that sometimes Ro will call when we hang out or text me. It means that sometimes when you call I will be hanging out with Ro. Don't get so worried I am going to hang out with you and get texts from you. Just know that sometimes you'll have to share my time with him. 
Kyle: like how much time? 
Me: Getting territorial on me ?

Our conversation went on for hours talking about dislikes and likes. Ro texted me a few times but I didn't get them till later. I didn't want our first time talking to have any interruptions. Kyle and I are going to take it slow. See where things go and I am so happy he believed me. Denise isn't in school today so my bitching her out will have to wait for later. All I know is that our friendship is completely over. I am so tired of her taking out all her stupid problems with herself on me. Instead of me taking the bus home today Ro is going to pick me up. He said he has some news he has to talk to me about. At this point I am hoping for some good news because if its more bad news I might just freak out. Right now I am so glad Kyle and I are getting to know each other because I get happy just thinking about it. Even if we don't take this getting to know each other to a relationship stage and just remain friends I am happy with that. I mean don't get me wrong I love hanging out with Ro and I do love him on some level but it's time for me to hang out with a guy that is uncharted. Got to go we have some new sub in our computer class who likes to walk around seeing what we are up to.

Recap

Sorry guys I've been away doing some things with some friends of mine. There has been so much drama and so much that has happened since my last post. So let's pick up where I left off last time. Roman came over that night we talked about some things and then we fell asleep. See Roman has a really bad home life I think its part of the reason why I feel so close to him because we both have problems at home. Not only have we been friends since we were young ducklings but I just feel like in some weird way we could actually save each other. Anyways he came over talked about some home problems and since he didn't have a place to go for the night I told him to stay over. I mean no one ever comes down to my room in the basement and I mean it was already 4 in the morning by the time we stopped talking. My parents were already asleep and I figured my alarm would go off for school and I'd be a good daughter get ready instead of having mom have to call my cell like five times to wake me up. I didn't want to chance either of my parents coming all the way down three flights to wake me up with Roman asleep in my room.
Luckily I woke up on the first ring of my alarm. I woke Roman up to so he could sneak out my window before my parents woke up. Of course I went upstairs to check before he left my room at all. Lucky for me my parents decided to sleep in a little that morning so Roman got out and I didn't get in trouble.
Friday 
Friday was the day of the party and Denise was being extremely up my arse the whole fooking day at school. I think she was trying to be on my good side so she wouldn't be uninvited to the party. That night I rushed out my parents house after dinner to Denise's house so we could go to the mall pick out some cute shirts to wear for the party. Of course we ran into Peter this guitar player from some lame-o band that Denise is obsessed with, I just thinks she wants to screw Peter.  I mean the whole band sucks except for the drummer Jessy who is kind of cute. Anyways as soon as we ran into him it was like I didn't exist to Denise except Peter kept trying to include me in their conversation which Denise didn't look to happy about. I didn't really care for Peter his friend Kyle on the other hand was interesting. I mean we didn't really talk much it was one of those awkward moments where you know the guy isn't interested in the girl but the girl is trying so hard to get his attention. Yeah, it was like, a fooking train wreck. I broke the ice, introduced myself, he told me his name was Kyle, something I would of never guessed. He looked more like a Christian or Gerard. He had this brownish reddish hair and these really cool blue eyes that were almost gray. His lips were definitely plump nice for kissing and he had these little freckles beneath his eyes they weren't in your face freckles but faint like if you got close enough you'd just notice them. He had this lilt to his speaking like he was Scottish or Irish but it wasn't enough for me to pin point which. It was only on certain words which was really cute. Anyways what I did find out was that he was into BMX, Skate-boarding, Surfing and he was new in town. Some how he was related to Peter but I saw no relation. I ended up inviting him out to the party we were going to and Denise's face looked shocked. Which then I remembered that some other guy who Denise liked was going to the party and she totally didn't want Peter and this other kid to be at the same party. It would be "too conflicting" she said.
Anyways we got our outfits, left the mall, changed at her house and Roman picked us up as usual. I sat in the front with Roman which Denise hates because we end up having conversations she can't keep up with, she always tries to get me to sit in the back with her or have her sit up front but Roman always tells me to sit up front with him. He doesn't really like Denise because of how catty she can be at times with me. He called her a "mean girl" after we watched mean girls. That was the night Roman came over after a huge fight with his dad and Denise yelled at me for something dumb. We were both pretty down so he came over to watch movies and surprisingly he picked Mean Girls. Anyways we went to the party and of course Meghan was there to just make matters worse. See Meghan is friends with Jay who is one of Romans friends so we always run the risk of Meghan showing up at some parties we go to. I am fine with it because I don't really have a problem with the girl. Except that she hates me for some unknown reason but I don't push the issue. Now Denise on the other hand always does, she ends up talking about her the whole night and trying to steal whatever guy Meghan is talking to from her. It's so petty I just come to hang out and have a good time.
Seeing that  Meghan was there and knowing Denise was already on edge because Peter and I forget the other kids name she liked was going to be at the same party I totally didn't want to stick by her side for the night. So as soon as I got in Ro and I went to the keg Denise followed we got our drinks and I worked the party. I started talking to all the people I knew and Denise kept talking about Meghan. I just blocked her out most of the time you know going uhuh or stupid bitch when I felt like she needed to think I was paying attention. At some point she left my hip and went to go dance with some dude. I was thankful some one took her from me even for a short while. I then found Ro upstairs talking to Jay and a few other friends. We ended up bonging some beers and taking some shots. I think around midnight Kyle and Peter showed up with Jessy. I talked to them for a little but Ro came to get so we could have a cig outside. Well I don't really smoke just take a couple drags from Ro's cig nothing really major. Of course we're outside talking freezing our arses off and Denise comes out freaking out. Talking about some dude grabbed her boob and how her make up looks messed up. How she needs me to go upstairs to help her fix herself for Peter. So I leave Ro and go with her. I end up helping her fix herself don't know how because at that point I'm feeling pretty good. We go down stairs find Peter and the gang. I ask Kyle if he wants a beer and we go off to find the keg. Kyle shows me his tattoo which is on his left arm. It's his family crest or something. Apparently he is from Ireland but they moved here when he was 9 years old because of some drama. We ended up talking the rest of the night until Ro texted me about leaving. Kyle and I ended up exchanging numbers which was pretty cool.
I finally join the party with Kyle behind me to find Denise arguing with Meghan. Some serious drama broke out then. I go over to get her and she flips out on me. Something about where was I when she needed me. How crappy of a friend of I am. I asked her what happened and she told me "Meghan was just being a bitch again trying to steal my men." I just roll my eyes. See Denise thinks that once she gets with someone that they are forever dubbed her men. No one can touch them not even the fooking queen herself for anything. So apparently Denise went to the bathroom and when she came back down Peter was flirting with Meghan. In Denise's eyes it was Meghan flirting with Peter. Like I said Train Wreck.
I told her Ro was outside ready to leave and she freaked out saying she wasn't leaving because that would give Meghan the upper hand. I told her we had to go because Ro was our ride and I was not going to make him stay for her petty little game with Meghan. She freaked out on me called me a bitch and that's when all hell broke out. Ro saw her yelling at me and came over to tell her to calm down. Kyle came out to see what was going on. I went into the party got Peter and told him to come outside. He came out and I embarrassed the shit out Denise. I told Peter everything that was said to me from Denise about him and he came out to tell her that he went up to Meghan. That he actually likes Meghan and has for some time. How he just wanted to be friends with Denise and not hurt her feelings. Denise looked crushed and I hated seeing that on her face but hell there was no way I was getting blamed for this one. Plus Ro and I wanted to leave she was causing a scene. So we finally got her in the car she stayed quiet the whole time. Ro dropped us off and once he drove off she freaked out on me again. Saying that I planned to make her look like a fool in front of everyone and that I was no longer her best friend. I told her that she needed to know that Peter didn't like her and she wouldn't believe me so I had to get Peter to tell her. She told me to get my shit and that she didn't want to talk to me for a little. She is always being so melodramatic so I got my shit and called Ro to come get me.

That night we went to New York ourselves.

Saturday 
It was the best day of my life so far. We drove all night to get to New York city and then we crashed a college party. Apparently Ro's friend goes to school around there and they were having keg races or something like that. I don't know what it was called but we ate breakfast first and then fixed ourselves up. We got to the party early and started to drink with Ro's friend Jacob. I was introduced to my first bong and learned how to smoke hookah. I was completely a waste by the time 2 PM rolled around. Ro was tired of the scene so we left there with Jacob and went sight seeing. I was completely wasted and surprised that no cops arrested us. I mean we weren't stumbling or anything but we were being obnoxious. We took pictures in some clothing stores. It was quit funny seeing Ro and Jacob in chick clothes. I dressed like a dude. Jacob bought me this cute shirt from this expensive store I never heard of but he said "You looked really good in it so I figured you had to have it" I didn't know what to say but thank you of course. Ro knows the coolest people. We ended up going to a diner to eat some food around 7PM to which I was coming out of high and drunken state. I hadn't slept and been running on coffee, alcohol and mentos for over 24 hours. I was crashing bad so we decided to go back to Jacobs because the party would have been over and moved on to another house. We got back and it was seriously trashed. We cleaned up a little bit and I downed a couple of shots to keep my energy up.
Ro ended up falling asleep on the couch and I ended up watching cartoons with Jacob. Apparently he is studying to be a lawyer and he's 22 years old. When I told him my age he seemed surprised apparently I look much older and don't act my age. Jacob is really smart and handsome. He is really tall, has dark hair and these hazel brown eyes. I would say he has some Roman background because he definitely has a Roman's nose. His lips are like some what plump but not like Kyles, still kissable though. Jacob ended up taking me to a store to get some Mentos I ran out and we ended up stopping by some cute little boutique. He bought me a cute skirt to go with the shirt I was wearing he got me earlier and matching heels. He then asked me to do him a favor which I couldn't refuse because the guy just bought me the cutest outfit. We ended up going to dinner with his parents and he needed to take a date. We went to this really nice restaurant and his parents are really awesome. Apparently they approved of me you know me going to school to be a doctor and all. We came up with this elaborate lie and Jacob said I did really well. We got back laughing and Ro looked pissed. We left New York around 10 PM and Ro was really quiet for a long time. I finally broke the ice and he just let me have it. Saying that Jacob was an asshole and I should of never left the apartment with him. That I shouldn't  of accepted the outfit because now I will owe Jacob or something. I mean it's not like I will ever run into Jacob again unless I am with Ro so it's no big deal. We ended up talking everything out and things are fine now. I slept on the way home and woke up once we got back to Ro's parents house. I showered there and we slept until the next morning. I made it home in enough time to make it for my family thing.


Sunday 
Sunday was lame. I was seriously hurting from all the partying but the good news is Kyle texted me. Said he wanted to hang out and get some coffee after school on Monday. Well which is today. He goes to a school around my neighborhood so he is going to walk over to the local coffee shop and meet up with me. Denise texted me saying she was mad at me for not taking her to New York.


Today 
I haven't talked to Denise yet today. I don't really plan on it either because I did nothing wrong. She is always doing some like this every time we go out some where and she doesn't get what she wants.  I am super excited about meeting up with Kyle and still super hung over. That's what I get for partying so hard. Oh well I shall update about my little coffee date with Kyle. Oh I almost forgot apparently Jacob programmed his number into my phone. He keeps texting me saying he wants to come visit me and Ro soon. I mean I have no problem with Jacob but it was kind of scary that Ro said I shouldn't of trusted Jacob so easily. He is right I had no clue who Jacob was and I was in a city that I didn't know anyone but Ro. Something could of easily happened to me especially since I was still drunk. I guess I just trusted in Ro's judgment and figured it was okay to hang out with him while Ro slept. Anyways the bell is ringing I have to go peeps.