I'm Losing Touch

Okay so shits been crazy guys. Seriously I am so over this whole who is better than who bullshit. My Valentine's day was complete and utter bullshit.

It started out sweet when in the morning there was a single rose attached to my locker and chocolates in my locker. Of course Peter put it in there for Kyle but it was still sweet. I went through the whole day at school with a cheesy ass smile on my face. Then at 2 fucking 30 the whole thing changed with one simple text message.

Ro: Where are you? I am outside your school, I have a surprise for you :) 

Ro came to surprise me with a dozen roses, a huge ass teddy bear and a bottle of wine. Seriously after all this time I have known you and this Valentine's day you actually remember! Of course Peter saw Ro giving me all the stuff and of course I get a text at 3 PM.

Kyle: We still meeting at the coffee shop today? Peter told me about RO. 

So of course I made RO drive me home instantly. I also told RO I could not accept the gifts because he was not my Valentine.

Ro: Well your mine and I won't take the gifts back, so just take them. 

I just rolled my eyes and decided to give my mom the Flowers and my Cousin the Teddy. As for the wine I was totally keeping that because it was my favorite wine and I really needed a damn drink. I texted Kyle back five minutes later

Me: Of Course Silly, OH yeah we need to talk about that. He's insane. I miss you , see you soon xoxo

Of course I had to reassure Kyle he was my valentine by sending him such a cute message. I get home tell RO to fuck off basically because he just pissed me off. I know he means well and is desparately trying to get my full attention but I thought we agreed to put this shit behind us and just be friends? Was I mistaken?

Anyways I get to the coffee shop around 3-20 ten minutes before we were supposed to meet. Turns out Kyle was already there and he was talking to Denise! So I walk in and decide that this better be absolutely fucking good. I walk over non-chalantly, kiss kyle on the cheek and sit down next to him. I smile at Denise, she looked pissed off and Kyle looks worried.

Kyle: Hey beautiful, how was school?
Me: It was awesome until I got out of School. 
Kyle: Oh yeah, how did that go?
Me: Oh I have to tell you everything later on. I look over to Denise So... What's up I say directed at Denise. Wondering what the fuck this bitch was doing talking to my man at the coffee shop.
Denise: Oh just saying hi. 
Me: Oh okay
Kyle: Uh it was lovely running into you Denise but we need to talk about some things in private, do you mind?
She looked shocked that he asked her to leave, like she expected to stay and then she just settled for a half smile and got up. Once she walked out of the coffee shop I inistantly turned to Kyle, waiting for the beautiful explaination on how she was begging for his forgiveness and mine.
Kyle: Uh, I just ran into her. 
I scrutinize him even more, not saying a word but saying everything with my look
Kyle: Look I know she isn't your friend but I cannot be not nice to someone. 
I give him a look like he is ludicrous for not having my back and hating her as much as I do. Who gives a fuck about manners, she's my enemy, fucking hate her with me or don't be with me.
Kyle: Say something please ? 
Me: I'm sorry but I don't understand your logic. 
Kyle: What?
Me: How can you not be mean to her? 
Kyle: Listen I know you don't like her but she didn't do anything to me. I feel sorta bad for the girl
Me: What! 
Kyle; the poor girl has no friends and well you punched her in the face
Me: She deserved it! 
Kyle: Well no, not really, no one deserves to get punched.
Me: Are you FUCKING serious right now? She spit in my face! 
Kyle; Well I think you should of been the bigger person and just walked away!
Me: Wow, just wow!
Kyle: Wow what?
Me: Had you told me this when things went down instead of I dunno, rushing to my side, things would of turned out differently 
Kyle: OH Like how? You'd be with Ro right now instead of me?
Me: OH wow that's a low blow!
Kyle: It's the truth!
Me: No IT IS NOT! You fucking bastard to think I was going to tell you I loved you today. To think that I thought we could have a nice Valentine's day!
Kyle: Wait.. what did you say? Love ? 
Me: And now, now you've gone and ruined the whole thing by thinking its okay to talk to Denise! Then you tell me I was wrong?! 
Kyle: Wait slow down
Me: No , No I won't slow down. I am uberly pissed right now! I am leaving ! 
I grabbed my bag and high tailed out of that stupid Fucking Coffee Shop! Kyle was chasing after me calling out my name Mace, yelling at me to stop
-Wait Please stop! Come back we can talk about this ! Please .. 
Me: I don't want to talk to you right now! Just leave me the fuck alone Kyle... I turn around and take his Valentine's day present. It's a painting of us together in Delaware on the beach. I throw it at him and storm off ..
Me: Happy fucking valentine's day Prick! 
Kyle: Mace!! 

Kyle called and texted me a bunch. Ro tried to call me to but I didn't want to see or talk to either of them. Meghan called me, left a message asking if I was okay and that she was worried. I am sure Kyle talked to Peter who then talked to Meghan who then called me to try to get me to talk to Kyle..

In school Peter tried to talk about the whole thing but I told him that I didn't feel like talking to him and that it's best if he didn't mention it for a while. I told Meghan I had to re-think some things. I bet Denise had a field day hearing about us storming out of the Coffee shop, she probably smirked all the way home thinking of how she ruined my relationship! What a CUNT!

I talked to Mr. Grey the other day about the whole thing and he said he understood. Then he told me I overreacted a bit but it was perfectly normal. He talked some sense into me and well I ended up texting Kyle to meet me at the park today.

We met up earlier today and we talked about everything. I told him I needed some space that this whole situation made me realize we really don't know each other that well.

Kyle: So what does this mean exactly? Are you not my girlfriend?
Me: I didn't know you considered me to be your girlfriend . 
Kyle: Well I mean we've been hanging out almost every day, we make out a lot, we go on mini weekend trips together and well I would call that dating, no?
Me: Yeah well dating but you never officially asked me to be your girlfriend. Not that I think it's a good choice right now though. 
Kyle: why is that? 
Me: Well I mean after that blow up on Monday
Kyle: That was just a misunderstanding.
Me: No Kyle, it wasn't 'just a misunderstanding' It meant a lot to me that you would do that
Kyle: do what? Be nice to someone?
Me: NO, not just anyone, Her. 
Kyle: Oh So because it was Denise it's a problem.. ?
Me: yeah, I mean She tried to pull us apart by telling you lies in the beginning. Then she spit in my face because she thought I was a traitor. She lied to her dad about me and to the school. She spread nasty rumors that I was prego with Ro's baby! She has done so many other things before you even came into my life and .. And
Kyle: But she did that all to you! Not me! 
Me: you don't get it Kyle. She messed up my life for a very long time. She brought unneccesary drama 
Kyle: oh like this isn't?
Me: Your a real piece of work Kyle, Look if someone hurt you, I would hate them. I couldn't stand there and be nice to them for manners sake. I would treat them like they were a disease because that's how much I care about you. Thats How much you MEAN to me! Obviously I don't mean that much to you. If you don't get this, then we can't work, do you understand that? It's either me as your girl or her as your friend. 
Kyle: This is so juvenile why make me choose? I would never ask you to dislike someone I don't like!
Me: what is the matter with you? Why are you defending her so much? Are you two an item or something?
Kyle: No I'm with you
Me: and what? If we weren't together you'd be with her?
He gave me this distant look, like he couldn't believe I just said that to him. He stood quiet and that was answer enough. I started to feel tears coming..
Me: Look just forget this ever happened okay. 
Kyle: wait what?
Me: You and me are through kyle. ... 
Kyle: Wait what just happened?
Me: Just drop it  okay as I turned to walk away he grabbed my arm
Kyle: Why are you leaving? 
Me: You didn't answer me
Kyle: What?
Me: You didn't answer me!
Kyle: You didn't ask a question 
Me; Yes I fucking did, 
Kyle; No you didn't
Me: Jesus Fucking Christ, I asked that if you weren't with me would you be with Denise, then you gave me this look like I hit a nail on the fucking head and didn't answer my goddamn question. 
Kyle: because there was no reason to, I would never be with her
Me: Ha! Now your lying! You didn't answer me, you said nothing and that is answer enough
Kyle: SO because I didn't answer your stupid question we're done? 
Me: No its not that, its when you said the RO comment I answered you, I defended myself and how I felt about you, about US! You didn't say a fucking peep!
Kyle: OH BULLSHIT! You fucking stormed out of the damn coffee shop! Probably to go run to him! 
Me: HOW THE FUCK DARE YO-
Kyle: Yeah How the fuck dare I say the fucking truth!
Me: No, Not the truth, a fucking lie! I didn't talk to anyone, I went home and cried my eyes out Kyle! I didn't eat, sleep or speak to anyone for three whole fucking days! 
He just looked at me like he didn't know what to do because I started to scream and cry.
Me: You are such an idiot and one day you will regret ever hurting me like this ... Fuck you Kyle

And I just left. I left him standing there at the top of the hill. I left my heart and my soul on that hill today. I came home and cried for two whole hours. Just now I got up to write it all out, to tell everything to you. Kyle and I are done, Denise can have him for all I care. I think I am just going to stay single and have fun. Tomorrow is Friday and I am going to hang out with Cassie. We are going to the mall and then some party her brother's friend from home is throwing in Cassie's brothers honor. Apparently he got this internship he's been wanting. So maybe that should be fun and then Saturday I think Cassie and I are going to take a trip into the city and just go to the museum maybe meet some new people. I am going to take this heart ache by the balls and just get over it. I really enjoyed Kyle but now I realize I was falling for someone I hardly knew, I was falling in love with the idea of being with someone new. As for RO I haven't decided when I will talk to him. He's been messaging me for the past few days of Sorrys and how much he misses me. I seriously think we should date other people, I won't let this Kyle thing be a set back. I have school tomorrow and I really just want to stop typing. So ta-ta motha suckahs .. tomorrow is Friday, thank the heavens!